Why are we “seizing” problems and how to stop it?

It was a difficult day. They quarrelled with loved ones. Again, the pants I wanted to buy didn’t fit. And now, under a plausible pretext, you go to the kitchen and eat everything that comes to hand: today’s dinner, tomorrow’s breakfast and even a sweet New Year’s gift for your child. If something like this happens to you, know you are not alone. Why do we overeat, and what to do about it?

We are frustrated by being overweight. We eat a diet and expect to lose weight the next day, and ten kilograms at once. We forbid ourselves everything, then we weigh ourselves and do not see the necessary figure. This is frustrating. And we are used to seizing any sorrows. So we break down, we blame ourselves again, we introduce tough restrictions again. And so on ad infinitum.

The solution:
Find a food system that is comfortable for you that meets your goals. Do not exclude your favourite foods; do not introduce prohibitions that cannot be violated. Between a fasting diet and a balanced diet with a moderate calorie deficit, choose the latter. And we do not expect an instant result.

Food, lovely food, quickly cheers you up. Someone upset, there is a blockage at work – it means that you need to eat a chocolate bar or bun. Remember: these are fast carbohydrates; their effect is too fast. Very soon, you will feel sadness, tiredness and the need to repurchase candy.

Solution: learn to eat beautifully. Dishes, serving, serving, rather than the food itself, will cheer you up. Eat small meals, chew slowly – savour, enjoy. So eat less, and bring yourself more joy. Also, look for other ways to cheer yourself up.

Some people prescribe diets as self-punishment. Failure at work, divorce, a quarrel with children is a reason to go on a tough diet. But such behaviour does not resolve the internal conflict, does not reconcile with oneself; therefore, sooner or later, the diet ends in a breakdown. Then, however, we start losing weight again, punishing ourselves for the breakdown.

Solution: You need to deal with feelings of guilt, insecurity, problems in your personal life, or other situations that provoke self-punishment through food. For this, it is best to consult a psychologist.

Being overweight, which sometimes results from overeating, can have so-called secondary benefits. If a woman subconsciously avoids men, then the extra pounds become a kind of barrier that reliably protects her borders.
This behaviour may be the result of sexual abuse or negative attitudes about sexuality acquired in childhood. For example, my mother was panicky that her daughter would “bring it in the hem,” and the father was not shy in expressions, commenting on the adolescent’s frank clothes, in his opinion. And he reacted instantly, protecting himself from the threats associated with sex and relationships by gaining weight. And today, food helps to maintain the physical shape that keeps us safe …

Solution: learn to build boundaries in communication with men, work on the topic of safety. Allow yourself to be attractive, having untied the knots in your head “sexy means defiant”, “femininity is equal to provocation”.

Sometimes an unhealthy relationship with food is a consequence of the relationship with the mother. First, the mother feeds the baby, and feeding is enjoyable and safe.
Then mom and grandmother express their love and care through food: “baked especially for you”, “eat it up, don’t upset me.” A stable connection, “food equals pacification, calmness, safety”, is formed in the head.
Solution: learn to feel the love of loved ones through their attitude, comfort through self-care, learn to relax and rest without the help of food.

Failure to understand ourselves, to understand how we feel, often leads to eating disorders. When confused, confused, we eat do not know what is happening or how we should be.
Solution: Learn to understand your feelings – anxiety, shame, boredom, fear, and so on.
Find out what emotional state precedes binge eating. Work through this state.

Another secondary benefit: if I don’t lose weight, I won’t be successful, I won’t be discussed and criticized, I won’t be turned away from me. The breakdown is subconsciously perceived as a way of self-destruction and self-destruction. We swallow the resentment, shut our mouths, thereby expressing our attitude towards ourselves. But the more we try to calm ourselves down with food, the more we hate ourselves for being weak.

Solution: learn to distinguish your own desires from those imposed by someone, overcome self-rejection and self-loathing, stop depending on the assessments of others and be comfortable and “good”.

Food is one of the more pleasures available, and that’s okay. It is not normal for overeating to become regular and develop features of an eating disorder. And here, you need to understand that it is tough to cope with food addiction independently. But therapy with a specialist will allow you to find the reasons for overeating, work them out and finally stop fighting with yourself with knives and forks.

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